Inside The Ballpark - Baseball Humor Blog

My Open Letter to Prince Fielder

by Jim Walker on April 16th, 2008

Prince, let’s you and I have a talk. I understand that you’re wanting to trim some of that excess weight, and I can respect that. I understand that you don’t want to eat meat anymore, and I can respect that… even if I don’t understand it. But let’s face facts here: You’re not hitting.

In fact, you have only three extra-bhase hits in 49 at bats this season, and you’re hitting. 224. However, most importantly, you have zero home runs in those same 49 at-bats. Now, I’m sure you’ve heard the accusations that your lack of eating meat is attributing to this lack of power. After all, when you try to steer yourself away from meat you’re going to suffer from some weakness for a while as your body adjusts to not getting the proteins that you otherwise would have in your system.

I do have a question, however: Why not wait? Wait until after the season to go on the no-meat diet. That way you will have four or five months to let your body adjust to the new diet, and you won’t be hurting your team (and your contract chances) in the process. The National League Central, for better or worse, is the most competitive division in the league. Every team has a chance to win that division, and Milwaukee needs you, Prince. So I urge you to please, please…

…eat some beef. Some chicken. Turkey. Ham. Sausage. Venison. Lamb. SOMETHING! After the season you can eat whatever you want, but just wait!

Image, as always, from Wikipedia

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POSTED IN: Milwaukee Brewers, Miscellaneous